Gulf Coast Play Therapy Clinic, LLC

Mid-week self care time!

Repeat after me: My child’s behaviour is not my report card as a parent. It’s ok for me to want no more meltdowns or tantrums in my home. They can ...be really tough. (Please give yourself this compassion). My child’s meltdown or tantrum does not make me a bad parent or them a bad child. Kids aren’t born with the ability to regulate their emotions. Just like babies aren’t born with the ability to soothe themselves when they feel upset. Somewhere between newborns and toddlers we often forget about this. As our kids become older we start to shift our expectations... and often as we do this we find our kids letting us down over and over. When we find ourselves saying they should know better or do better over and over, we may need to take a step back and gently remind ourselves about what we can expect from our kids from a developmental perspective. Meltdowns/tantrums/emotional releases are actually a very common part of your child’s development. Little kids who meltdown are learning how to cope with big feelings for the first time. They also may be trying to communicate something with you they don’t have the words or ability to communicate yet. Teaching them how to respond to their big feelings isn’t a one time thing, a one size fits all approach... instead it is a process that involves calm, curiosity, connection, and collaboration. There is no magical tantrum cure... instead what we can do is breathe, get curious, acknowledge how our kids are feeling, set boundaries around behaviour and remember that your job isn’t to fix emotions, it is to simply be there, walking through the wave of emotion with your kiddos. I know for me, remembering that my child is learning how to respond to her big feelings for the first time helps me have compassion for her in these challenging moments. Let’s give ourselves so much compassion in these moments instead of guilt or shame. This has been one of the most helpful pieces of knowledge for myself as a parent to have compassion on myself/child - what helps you?? Put a tantrum question or below for more on this topic.

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